Back On The
Doubles
I
was late coming home from darts the other night as usual and as the police are
having a bit of a blitz on drink driving round where I live it was inevitable
that sooner or later I would get stopped for a breath test. I saw the police car
pull out of a turn behind me as I went past, so I new what was going to happen.
Sure enough, we hadn’t gone many yards down the road when on flashed his
pretty blue lights, so I pulled over.
I wound down my window as the policeman
walked up to me and he needlessly stuck his head through my window to have a
casual sniff. “I think one of your brake lights is not working, so I thought I
had better pull you over to warn you, so that you could get it fixed before you
have an accident,” the policeman helpfully said.
“That’s very kind of you to take the trouble officer, thank you, I will get
it looked at first thing tomorrow.”
The policeman continued. "Do you mind if I ask you where you
have been this evening sir?”
“Not at all officer, I’ve been down the pub playing darts all night.”
“I thought so, I could smell beer on you. Have you been drinking?”
“As I said I have been playing darts in the pub, I’ve been on
the doubles all night.”
“Would you mind getting out of the car to take a breath test please sir?”
“Certainly officer.”
The policeman called his mate over from the car and whispered under his breath,
“We’ve got one here.” Then he took out a test kit and gave me instructions
on how to blow into it. I passed it back, he examined it closely and he looked
puzzled. “Well this is reading negative. Absolutely
nothing, no trace of alcohol. Must be faulty, we’ll try another one.” Out
came another kit with the same result. “I thought you said you had been on
doubles all night?” demanded the puzzled officer sounding more than a little
tetchy.
“Yes officer, the doubles, trebles, I was hitting everything at darts, but I
was only drinking pop.”
P.S. This
story is just that and never really happened, but the idea for it was given to
me by a comment a friend made in the pub while playing darts on Friday night.
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