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5 Portions of Fruit And Veg’ A Day.

Some of my friends are reluctant to give up smoking when they go to a darts match, so, now the smoking ban has come into force, they resort to going outside regularly for a quick cigarette. One healthy 81 year old player that I know says that “He has smoked all his life and he is not doing so bad.” I pointed out that smoking will shorten his life, but he does not take me seriously and just laughs. However, I think he is starting to take his health more seriously, because the other night he said he was going to make sure he had his 5 portions of fruit and veg’ a day. “Yes,” he said, “Did you know that a pint of cider counts as a portion of apple juice?”

“That makes sense, I suppose,” was my reply.

“Wine is of course grape juice,” He continued “And Perry is made out of pears.”

Somebody else had been talking about the Irish spirit called “Poteen” and helpfully pointed out that it was made from potatoes for another portion of veg’.

“Kirsch is made from cherries,” was another helpful suggestion.

“There are all sorts of liqueurs made out of an assortment of fruits or you could simply have vodka and orange juice or vodka and tomato juice. In fact when you think about it there are any number of possible ways for getting a variety of fruit and veg’ spiced up with a shot of alcohol,” concluded one bright spark.

Now I am not saying that all darts players are alcoholics but I must be one of the few “Tea Total" players in the country. I was reminded of a conversation another darts player friend had some years ago with his Doctor about his drinking habits.

He was told by the doctor that the drink limit was 22 units of alcohol. The doctor then explained that one unit was about one glass of wine, or half a pint of beer, so the total limit was 11 pints.

My friend said "Oh, that’s all right, I rarely drink that much in a night."

To which the doctor replied, "I mean 11 pints a week."

On another occasion at a match in a club in a local town one night, myself, my friend, his wife and another couple were sitting together at a table when a young girl doing a drinks promotion for the brewery came round and gave everyone a free pint of Guinness. As my friend was the only one who liked Guinness he felt obliged to drink all 5 pints for us before continuing with his favourite brew. This was the only night I have ever seen him merry.

Going back to the smoking ban because of the health aspect, it makes me wonder how long it will be, before the consumption of alcohol becomes more controlled by law on health grounds. Alcohol free Lager has been sold in small quantities for years, but never really caught on. After watching the old Star Trek films I realised more and more things seem to be coming true and in those stories nobody smoked tobacco and every one drank “Synthohol.” Who knows, maybe in years to come we will have made a harmless alcohol substitute that becomes universally accepted. Will darts matches ever be the same again?

 

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